To be a stay at home mom or not to be a stay at home mom?

That is the question.  Or at least was. I went back to work last week.  And well Tanner and I have been discussing possibly me quitting work and staying home with Caedmon.  I cannot believe I am actually saying this when I remember about 2 months ago I was like I cannot wait to get back to work.  It excites me but also makes me a little nervous.  If we cut back in a couple of areas we should be fine in the finances department.

So how this all came about was one day I was joking with Tanner.  I said, "dont you like me staying home because I do all of the grocery shopping and errand running now during the day and you don't have too?".  He says well I told you that you could.  So then we started having a serious conversation about it and he said he would prefer I watch Caedmon instead of someone else.  And the way that I look at it is for quite some time now I was contemplating changing jobs because mine is stressful (and with a child = double stress).  But never had the guts to actually do it because I didn't want to get rid of my benefits.  And let's face it who likes job searching?  It sucks.  So I view this as my way out of my job.  And he has been going to daycare and I do not like it one bit but I know every parent has felt this way at first.

Also at my bible study group we did a 3 week series on worry.  I worry A LOT!  So of course I was skeptical about quitting.  Because is this going to mess up my future in trying to get a job later?  Will it mess up my resume because there will be a gap of unemployment?  What if I am bored at home?  Do I want to give up my health insurance and benefits because it is better than Tanner's work?  Will finances be so tight that we cannot have any fun?  What if I end up hating it?  These were just some of the questions/worries going through my mind.

So at bible study the verse Matthew 6:34 reads, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  After reading this verse I realized who cares about the future and getting a job later.  Deal with that when the time comes and if this is God's plan for me then everything in the future will work out.  What matters now is what is best for Caedmon and what God wants me to do now.  I feel like he is leading me to quit my job so that I can learn to trust him and not worry.  Everything will work out.  And to continue to learn patience as we all know we need a lot of that with a child.

So I will end this post saying that the decision has been made and I put my resignation in today.  I don't think I will regret it because I hear from all moms that this time goes so fast so at least I will get to enjoy it more.  And I should definitely be blessed that I have this opportunity because a lot of moms do not get this opportunity.

Watching TV together