To be a stay at home mom or not to be a stay at home mom?

That is the question.  Or at least was. I went back to work last week.  And well Tanner and I have been discussing possibly me quitting work and staying home with Caedmon.  I cannot believe I am actually saying this when I remember about 2 months ago I was like I cannot wait to get back to work.  It excites me but also makes me a little nervous.  If we cut back in a couple of areas we should be fine in the finances department.

So how this all came about was one day I was joking with Tanner.  I said, "dont you like me staying home because I do all of the grocery shopping and errand running now during the day and you don't have too?".  He says well I told you that you could.  So then we started having a serious conversation about it and he said he would prefer I watch Caedmon instead of someone else.  And the way that I look at it is for quite some time now I was contemplating changing jobs because mine is stressful (and with a child = double stress).  But never had the guts to actually do it because I didn't want to get rid of my benefits.  And let's face it who likes job searching?  It sucks.  So I view this as my way out of my job.  And he has been going to daycare and I do not like it one bit but I know every parent has felt this way at first.

Also at my bible study group we did a 3 week series on worry.  I worry A LOT!  So of course I was skeptical about quitting.  Because is this going to mess up my future in trying to get a job later?  Will it mess up my resume because there will be a gap of unemployment?  What if I am bored at home?  Do I want to give up my health insurance and benefits because it is better than Tanner's work?  Will finances be so tight that we cannot have any fun?  What if I end up hating it?  These were just some of the questions/worries going through my mind.

So at bible study the verse Matthew 6:34 reads, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  After reading this verse I realized who cares about the future and getting a job later.  Deal with that when the time comes and if this is God's plan for me then everything in the future will work out.  What matters now is what is best for Caedmon and what God wants me to do now.  I feel like he is leading me to quit my job so that I can learn to trust him and not worry.  Everything will work out.  And to continue to learn patience as we all know we need a lot of that with a child.

So I will end this post saying that the decision has been made and I put my resignation in today.  I don't think I will regret it because I hear from all moms that this time goes so fast so at least I will get to enjoy it more.  And I should definitely be blessed that I have this opportunity because a lot of moms do not get this opportunity.

Watching TV together

Lil man is 3 months old now

Caedmon acts like he doesn't enjoy tummy time.  We think he is just in denial.

Tummy Time

Caedmon absolutely hates tummy time.  He will pretty much start whining almost as soon as you put him on his tummy.  This video from tonight shows that he actually acted like he enjoyed it and with a surprise ending.

Big Stretch

Just a quick video on Caedmon stretching after he is unswaddled.

It was like Christmas again

And I am talking about 2 weeks ago was busy traveling around like we typically do at Christmas time.  I decided as my maternity leave is nearing the end that Caedmon, Tyson, and I would go visit family again.  We went up to my dads from Tuesday thru Thursday.  Tuesday went to my bros house and visited with everyone.  Caedmon was a little cranky that night.  He typically seems to want to go to bed about 7PM.  Well by the time we got back to my dads, fed him, and put him to bed it was 9PM.  When we put him to bed he usually sleeps about 5 to 6 hours and then wakes up to eat again and goes back to bed for another 3 to 4 more hours.  Well that night he slept till 4AM!  7 Hours!!  I couldn't believe it.  Then he slept another 3 hours after that from 5 to 8AM.  It was nice.

On Wednesday dad, Caedmon, and I went to the mall and walked around and ate lunch.  Caedmon slept the whole time in the mall.  My bro and the kids came over for dinner that night.  Then Thursday afternoon I headed out to Lafayette to grandpa and grandma Hatke's house.  Swung by their house to pick up Brandon and then went to grandma's work.  She wanted to show Caedmon to her co-workers.  And of course everyone thought he was adorable.  Then on Friday hung out with Brandon for awhile before heading home before dark.

The whole time I was gone Tanner was supposed to be at a conference for work but unfortunately got sick.  He ended up staying home the whole week but good for him since he was able to get uninterrupted rest and not have to tend to the boy.  So I thought I did pretty well tending to the boy without Tanner around.  Caedmon was a little cranky alot but he probably missed his daddy. 

Then later on Friday night, grandma and grandpa Hatke brought Brandon to our house to spend the weekend with us.  We all went out to dinner at the Rathskellar (a really good German restaurant) before they headed back home.  Caedmon slept the whole time and did well.  We actually tried to go to the Rathskellar with them the weekend before and Caedmon was crying the whole time on the way there so we decided to turn around and go home and ordered in instead. 

The weekend with Brandon was fun.  We had some good laughs.  We were kind of lazy too which was nice.  Saturday night Brandon and I walked around Circle Center mall and went to dinner at Scotty's Brewhouse for my friend Jenelle's graduation celebration.  Tanner was still pretty tired from being sick so he stayed home with Caedmon.  He said him and Caedmon were having fun talking guy stuff, smoking cigars, and shootin guns.  LOL!  They got to have some guy bonding time since we been gone most of the week.

On Sunday again we were all lazy.  Tanner took Brandon home back to Lafayette with Caedmon.  I stayed home to have a night to myself with Tyson.  Tanner probably would have left Caedmon at home but I knew grandpa and grandma would be disappointed if he didn't go.  I even went running for the first time in about 10 months today.  It felt great but kicked my butt.  So it turned out that the weather was bad up in Lafayette and Tanner didn't want to drive home in the ice so him and Caedmon spent the night.  So I got to have an entire night to myself with uninterrupted sleep.  It was pretty awesome!

Well now that I just rambled on forever and probably confused everyone or bored you to death, I will end with a couple of pictures and a video from the week.

Playing with grandpa Cichos

Sleeping with daddy

Excuse the cuss word from his Uncle Brandon at the end.  He was trying to take a picture and something messed up.  LOL. 

In Loving Memory....

I cannot believe it has been 5 years ago today that mom passed away.  Seems like it was just yesterday.  Just wanted to post a few pictures in remembrance of her.  Love you and miss you so much Mom!

Purdue graduation

Being goofy with Stone's sunglasses

Paul's wedding

The family before Jenna and Tanner were added

When Jenna was born

Mom with the blanket I made her

At my wedding rehearsal dinner

Mom with Stone - he kind of looks like Caedmon

Mom and Heather - Christmas 2007

Christmas 2007

My wedding

Gatlinburg trip 2007

Gatlinburg trip 2007

Wedding rehearsal dinner

My wedding

Mom with dad wearing my Purdue graduation cap and gown LOL

Happy New Year!

Just wanted to say a quick Happy New Year to you all.  We hope 2013 brings you many blessings. 

We spent our new year's eve at our friends Jon and Becky's.  We had a nacho/taco bar and played games.  Tanner decided to wake up Caedmon a little early to feed him so he could ring in the new year with us.  Couldn't believe that we actually made it to midnight ourselves.  Ha!

Caedmon and Adrian new years eve