A Beautiful Mess

As always I have catching up to do.  Thought I would start off  with something a little different that I normally would not do.  I try not to complain (at least on social media) but I am feeling a little down at the moment.  I don't even know if anyone is reading this stuff anymore so I guess it can be a diary for me. 

Just got back from vacation a couple days ago from 10 days in North Carolina (more on that later) and the drive home was the worst ever.  Caedmon started having diarrhea and had to be in his car seat all day that I felt so bad for him.  I didn't think we were ever going to make it home because I swear we had to stop every damn hour.  I hated it so much that I wanted to run away from everything.  So then being home is supposed to make me happy which I was for a short time but now I just hate it here more than ever.  I don't know if I have cabin fever or what.  But Caedmon has been having diarrhea for the past 3 days and I am sick of changing poopy diapers all day long.  And his poor bum is so red and sore that we don't want to go anywhere with him like this.  He also has been having a fever the last couple of days as well.  So this is getting frustrating.

I also feel like I have no support system anymore here in Indianapolis.  I am jealous of the people who have mothers that will come running in a heart beat if you need help.  My BFF moved away which we hardly even talk anymore.  That happens all the time it seems like.  I make friends and they move away and then we never talk anymore.  Or I have friends that don't ever initiate anything.  What is even the point in making friends anymore.  I have church friends but when your constantly running around the state of Indiana or elsewhere you can't be committed to church and then probably no one wants to take the time to get to know you anyway.  But I can't help it that our families want to see Caedmon and we don't live near them.  So again why even bother with church, friends, etc.

After I wrote all of that I remembered today is the first day of MOPS for this year.  Unfortunately I had to miss due to Caedmon.  But this years theme is A Beautiful Mess -Embrace Your Story.  Here is a little about the theme from the MOPS website.

"Moms live in messes.  They toys, crumbs, and spit-up are their natural surroundings.  Moms often feel like a mess.  They are exhausted, under-showered, and hormonal.  Their past and present circumstances and decisions can leave them feeling inadequate for God's love and purposes.  A Beautiful Mess reminds moms that beauty can come out of their difficult spots.  The grime of mothering young children brings the beauty of motherhood.  The bruises of life can bring God's redemption.  Embrace your story reminds moms of their past, present, and future can be used for good.  God knows where each of us has been, where we are today and has set in motion where we are headed."  The theme verse is "For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." (Ephesians 2:10).

I just really like the phrase a Beautiful Mess.  I can sit here and talk about how much my life sucks and feel sorry for myself.  But I am reminded that despite all the messes of life and kids that you never regret one moment because they grow so fast.  And you love them so much and I am blessed with the opportunity to stay home with my son.  It's just all a beautiful mess!